Top things most wantedly learned during last year:

Dont judge the book by its cover.

Appearances are often deceptive.

You do pay a price for speaking behind people's backs.

Some people are bilingual, pun intended. That is, some people have two tongues: they speak one thing before you and a complete opposite version behind your back.

Do not trust anyone to your life even if your dad/mom or husband.wife/girl/boyfriend. Some situations may make them turn their backs against you- may be either their fault or not.

Be careful to people who make you feel less. Do not ever stick to them even with a hariline of hope.

Do not try to impress people, especially who do not like you or who do not even knew you existed. All the trying will be futile.

Do not try to get back to those who broke or still breaking your heart. Its worthless. Move on.

There is no such thing called "brother/sister from another mother." It's a f***ing philosophy coined by worthless people who think their lives are lame.

Do not involve emotionally with people whom you are working with.

Last but not least: You can let people come inside your heart but do not let people inside you head.

Youths these days

Last Sunday, I watched a program called “Neeya Naana” (You or Me) in a TV channel called Star Vijay. It's a debate show where two teams will speak contrasting ideas on a same topic. The program I saw was (sorry, I really don't know what the exact topic of that day’s debate was, but from what I saw from the middle of the program, I understood that the topic must be how the younger generation looks/faces problems in the society). One of the teams comprised of younger people (whose age range must be between 18 and 25) and the other team comprised of adults who must be aged between 35 and 50 or so. The younger-generation team spoke about the problems they face in the society and how they are handling them. Those guys really put forward some nice points about drug use and reservations. But, when the adults started to speak of, I really really realized what things the younger generation miss and what perspectives they miss to see in the society (also what is/has been/had been going on in the country). One of the adults pointed out that none of the youngsters spoke about the alcohol problem that is happening in our country. The senior did have a point there. Why didn't any of the youths spoke about it? Alcoholism is the basis for happening of most of the crimes such as rapes, homicides, violence (including domestic), and economic problems. Also, I realized that due to lack of experience or due to the education system, youngsters are seeing/or trying to solve a problem only on a personal perspective. I say that youngsters these days should widen their vision. They should have a broader point of view on a social problem rather limiting the problem to oneself or based on his or her own experience. It's really awful that many of youngsters are not aware of current affairs. Many youngsters are not aware that a certain religious community is struggling in the society so much that they don't even to get a house for rent. A senior finally pointed out that youngsters are not properly utilizing the available e-gadgets that they have access to. It is really questionable that how many youngsters use "Google" to browse about the current problems faced by our fishermen at the India–Srilanka border. But, one youngster gave an understanding reason that she has not got the purpose of using the Internet for browsing information on the current affairs. This is because, as per the current education system, students are being burdened by syllabus and of course. You cannot expect a book on Electronics to speak about the terrorist attack on the Indian Coasts. However, we cannot expect the board of education to include topics on current affairs in the academic syllabus. Nevertheless, the habit of browsing News channels once in a while (apart looking for cricket scores) in youngsters should be cultivated to know about the current affairs and what are the problems faced by each community in the society.

Friendship

Recently, about one week ago, I finished reading a novel "Another piece of heart" by Jane Green. I really really don't know whether this author is famous or not, but after reading her novel, I fell for her writing and the way she has presented a simple, but a meaning ful, story to the readers. Hey, just a minute. Don't think I'm going to write a review on the novel. But, I want to say somethings that I felt while reading that novel. Actually, it's a story revolving around a father, an alcoholic mother, a spoiled teenage daughter, and a good step mother (contrast to what we see normally an evil stepmother). Though a kinda emotional drama going on with these people, I didn't find anything boring. While reading that novel, I came through a sentence, " You always calm me down and make me see that life is not ever scary as I think it's going to be."

What a wonderful statement is that! The main character, Annie, the stepmother, expresses her feelings toward her husband, Ethan, while he helps her sort things between her and his daughter, Emily, who always hates Annie. Annie was tired of Emily's tantrums. You know what? I think this statement perfectly goes when referring a friend rather than referring to a husband. Because, you cannot always share everything with a husband, though he is so close to you and may be so understanding. Although most part of our lives is filled by our husband and children, sometimes we do need a special person like a friend to open yourself and get some advice, without being afraid of the thought that telling a problem may lead to a breakup. This is because it’s true that always and only friends understand us much more than anyone else in the whole world. A best friend will do anything just to see a “smiley” in your face. I've known many people all my life, but I never call everyone my friend. Don't mistake me. It is because you cannot call everyone you know your friend. Even though I have only two or three "friends," I am really happy with it. A true friend never backbites and never betrays you. I've really experienced that in my life. A friend of mine is a reason for me being turning into a soft person than before. Usually, I'm so outspoken all the times. I agree we have to be outspoken, but not all the times. Of course, there is a way to be outspoken, but gently. He is one of the reasons who made me think before I speak something a "walking on a knife" scenario kind of stuff to anyone. He also made me realize that no one will be the same all the times. I kinda really missed my friend when I was alone in a new work environment. I used to compare how others react to a particular reason with how he reacts to me in the same situation. There have been times that he has made things easy when I was struggling to handle them, and opened my eye to view those problems as simple as that. Just like that! He has been an angel during those times, and I realized it only when I’m away from him.

Does love really hurt?

Does love really hurt?

I've heard many people say that it is not love that hurts people, but it’s the people who get hurt due to their actions. But, I blame "love," because most of the problems start only after when you start loving a person, and fixing him or her in your heart as your life or future.

Based on my experience, I started thinking what could be the reason to get hurt, even though one has a good companion, who is sweet, lovable, and funny, and of course caring. Women like me do not tend to be satisfied only with these qualities in a man. We expect more. Yes, finally I found the reason. I'm expecting more.

After dating (in foreign countries, even in India) or after a friendly relationship, only the good qualities (don't think I'm rude. I meant the qualities we used to admire in a person when we are new in a friendship) are highlighted to us. It's natural of course. So, out of emotions, we fall for that person. When time goes by, you'll start truly understanding the person, and eventually your opposite sex starts to understand the entire "you," particularly after you are physically involved. More the sex, more you start seeing the other side of your spouse that he or she has been masking for a while. Believe me, it happens ;) Actually, you can feel the difference in your spouse’s behavior after sex. I’m not actually threatening you. I’m just saying that she speaks, expects, and becomes more possessive after you are physically more involved with her.  

It's an open statement I'm giving you guys that we women are bossy sometimes. We want our man to scale-up to our taste and desires. I've seen women trying to change their man. But, I finally found out one truth. Even though men seem to change for us, they are still them. The only thing happens is that they start lying or hide certain things that we do not want to know. Actually that’s love too. Men do not lose their women that easy. They want them in their life. Actually, according to me, this is the first hairline for breaking the “love brick”. When times goes by, at one point of time, we are finally realizing that we have lost the person whom we have loved before, who was pure with us, never lying, never hating, the person who was he when we met the first time. Actually, I really do not understand one thing. We fall for a person for those qualities only, but later on why we try to change the same qualities in him. Why do we do that?

Also, at one point of time, I started to think in another perspective. Why women act like this? Usually, women feel insecured when it comes to relationships. That too, particularly, women who are brought up in non-social societies like India tend to be like this. We women, right from childhood, are told that our relationship with parents is only temporary, and only the relationship with our spouse is ever lasting. So, naturally women tend to have no strings attached to their parents or siblings like the way they do have with their spouse. Compared to the olden days, Indian women have improvised in many things; they have even started dating, becoming more independent, and educated. But, still, when it comes to a relationship, the angel is slowly turning into a devil. Generally, women have this attitude: I'm leaving everyone and everything behind just for you, so you should I should be your first preference. The height of comedy is we expect men to telepathic and act accordingly by reading our minds. However, men are really really trying to do that and impress us, but we are still not satisfied. Believe me, men are learning every day. Only thing is that the scenario is different every other day. That is why they struggle to handle things to get smooth.

We should understand one thing in men. With all due respect, some men really do not know how to express themselves. They of course do love us a lot, but lack the skill of expressing it. Women are generally very caring and very expressive. Either it is happiness or sorrow, we express it then and there. But, men are usually afraid to do that. It is because, according to them we are still not predictable. Some men even do not ask how their spouse is doing when she is not well. It does not mean that the man does not love his wife or girlfriend. He just does not know it. Though this is funny, it is for real.

A lot of this has happened in my life. My husband and I used to have big fights only because of this. When your spouse does not express how he cares for you, definitely we will forget how he loves us, that he does not say “no” when we go shopping, or that he has waited one hour for you just to pick you up from the bus stop. Also, women should realize that men are the ones that are in more need to be pampered when they are sad and angry. When both of you are angry, in most of the cases, men come down from the “high pitch” and try make things smooth. The vice versa occurs in some cases too. I'm now speaking about the “vice versa” scenario, and I'm one of that cases. I've longed for someone to pamper me when I was upset or angry. But, it has never occurred in my life as of yet. I'll come down from the "high pitch" and start to pamper my spouse. Some men are like that. Actually, I was hurt due to that earlier. Then I realized that "he is one of them" who does not know how to pamper and still needs a lot of time to recover. Still that is not going to change that I love him a lot. Everyone has pros and cons. When we highlight the pros, life is really colorful.

But, in this blog, I would like to convey a message to the "he is one of them" men. At times, your spouse needs to be pampered when she is upset or sad, because she is in need of that, and she relies on you for that when you are in a relationship. Rarely, you can come down from your “high place” and help her. It’s too much to expect that from you, since it is  looooooooooot to ask. Lolz ;) However, I know that it should not be expected. But, it is nice to make her feel once in a while that your are there for her when she needs you. Just a hug and kiss on her forehead will do wonders. Sit by the side of her, put your arms around, and just say, “everything will be fine. Don’t worry.” It’s good to give her that experience once in a while, right? Also, it is no harm to express her how you feel for her and how you care for her. You don’t need to buy her expensive jewels or take a vacation in a five-star suite. Just a rose with lots of love and long bike ride in late evening (preferably in the ECR with no traffic or highway) will just do fine. Actually, you would have done this when you were in the earlier days of the relationship. It does not mean that you cannot continue doing this even during later times in your relationship. Only you should age, not your relationship with the one you love.

Life is short; why make the hell out of it?

If you want to laugh, just speak to the person/people that are near you. You will never know that the person is best at cracking timely jokes. We cannot judge the book by its cover, and that is why you will be amazed to know that a person that appears quite is rather actually  fun. Auto-rickshaw drivers are the best comedians. If you ask them a route to a place, they point out their left hands, but ask us to go toward right. Of course, I have to mention one of my colleagues. He is one of the best at cracking jokes casually. Here is an example of his wit. 
We usually will have a send-off meeting when someone leaves the company. Everyone will speak about his or her experience working with that person and wish him/her luck. When he (my ex-colleague) got his chance, he said looking at the person (who was his team lead), "Of course you have to leave man. Then how will we become team leads?"

However, there are people that make sarcastic jokes such that we will be forced to handle/face embarrassing situations. Some people will never know when to speak what.

In an office, a man watches a lady going from team to team for some work (may be some official work, and that is none of anyone’s interest). When she comes near him, he asks her (in front of everyone), “Don’t you have any work? You seem to be roaming here and there.” Just imagine her situation. If you are in this situation, what will you feel? Many people still don’t know that it is very bad to ask a person (at work) whether he/she is free in order to help them. Everyone is of course busy with something or anything at work. Isn’t it really silly to ask that question?

Even those can be handled, but when people around you are egoistic, you will definitely have a hard time with them. Some people are sadistic by being egoistic. They enjoy hurting others by their ironic character. They will eat you out of their heads, that too, it is difficult to handle the person when he or she is a close friend or a boy/girl friend, or husband/wife.

Some people say that ego is innate, not acquired. Actually, it seems we tend to develop that trait as we grow. However, being egoistic is not healthy that it can affect one’s relationship. There are many stories of how one lost his/her relationship only because of his/her ego. Ego is devastating. It hurts the people around you.

A pregnant woman expects her husband to spend some valuable time with her, but her husband is always busy with his work, and he could not spend time with her even in the weekends. However, she understands his situation. She messages him in the morning after he reached his office (of course he never replies her), and she calls him at lunch to speak with him, and she expects him to message or call to inform her if he is gonna be late. The husband, but, could not act as expected by his wife. He could not respond her properly when he is at office, because there might be a client problem, delivery problem, or any other problem related to work, and of course the wife understands the situation and asks him nothing. But, instead of at least apologizing for not responding her or speaking about the day with her or asking her how she was doing the whole day, or explaining his situation for not calling her, he does not say anything or even care to explain his wife or comfort her. Is this egoism or laziness? Why didn’t he just understand that his wife has feelings too.

People tend to lose interest to share or to love or even care their (once) loved ones, because they are always near them or they live with them. But, I have always wondered why. The things we used to love in a person become the things we hate in that person after some time goes. We never understand the value of people when they are around us. No one can take back the fact or can “Ctl+Z” when one is hurt due to our actions (both physically and mentally). Once hurt is hurt, as it always remains as a scar in one’s heart.

No one is going to take anything when he or she passes away from this world. This is the common expression that everyone says today. But, according to me, we should be missed by the people we loved the most. That is, we should take with us one's feeling of missing us when we go (of course I don't mean in a negative way). Life is short and why make a hell out of it? According to me, it doesn’t mean that one should have the qualities of Buddha or Gandhi to make that person a good person, but a good person is the one that never hurts others by his/her egoistic attitudes.